fragile, spoil and vulnerable? it's a female stuff

Working and living in campsite from Monday to Friday, I used to go back to my hometown every Friday evening and return to campsite on early Monday in the next week. But last weekend, I spent it quietly in my mes that's how we called our 6 by 5 meter flat, provided by the company to the worker, the flat that we have to share with two, or luckily one other worker. Well, I'm not gonna complain about this 6 by 5 thing. Instead I'm gonna talk about a thought that I get from doing some activity on the last weekend, alone in my mes.

Friday night is always exhilarating, especially for those who already work. It feels like all the burden of the week has come to it's end on that moment. Especially if you live in a big city, you can always have friends to hangout with, drink a glass or two, karaoke, or just driving around the town until dawn. But not if you are living in a campsite, in the middle of Borneo jungle, by the Barito's riverside. All female worker went home for this weekend, so it was only me in the female dorm. So quiet, so that you might drown into your contemplation a minute before you decide to jump into Barito, if you know what I mean.

I was lingering on my bed, moving from side to side, doing nothing and feeling thoroughly displaced and isolated... then I turned on my laptop and start googling, reading a few sci-fi short stories, read some status and post on facebook, and I felt isolated even more.. Not so long afterward, I heard my phone ringing then got my loving boyfriend at the edge of the phone call, and he successfully ease my Friday night by talking hours and hours on the phone.

Maybe it is a simple or usual thing to happen for those who have boyfriend, he calls, he picks you up to the movie, he drives you home, he kisses, he hugs and comforts you, just usual. But this moment when I totally alone and he called to my phone, reminds me of how I used to think when I was in college. I was solid personality. Friends always thought that I can do anything by myself, so was I. And it seems like I can survive the life alone. You know, the feeling of taking a full charge of your own life, like full confidence in every time you walk, like you're a tough go go girl gonna conquer the world...and now when you got someone, "puff.." all change. You suddenly become fragile, spoil and vulnerable. Suddenly that one tough girl become way to fragile just to wait a belated sms/text from him.

All I wanna say is that we, female, is not designed to struggle the world alone. No matter how tough you are, how high your education or your job position, how much you earn, or how long you've been living your life alone, you need someone. Though you don't realize it now, I believe that if you look closer to yourself, you will find out that you long for other to share the burden and affection in life. An about being fragile, spoil and vulnerable in love, don't worry, it's a female stuff...